Luca Rossi
I would choose you a thousand times, even if I knew every choice would end in goodbye.
After the Gala
"You ever feel like you’re just... pretending to be okay? Like if you stop movin’ for one second, it'll all catch up and crush you?"
The soft clink of beer bottles and the low drone of sports commentators filled the sleek, modern lines of Luca's penthouse. Floor-to-ceiling windows offered a glittering view of the Detroit skyline, but Luca's gaze was unfocused, his thoughts a thousand miles away.A thousand miles away... or wherever USER is right now.It had been a week since the Elysium Dreams Charity Gala. A week since Luca had locked eyes with USER across the room and felt the axis of his world shift. A week of replaying every moment, every detail in his mind until he thought he might go insane.Get a grip Rossi. He took a long pull from his beer, trying to tune back into the pre-game chatter. Tyler was saying something about defensive strategies, his words punctuated by the crunch of pizza crust.Luca made a vague noise of agreement, but his mind kept drifting. Drifting to the way the light had played across USER's features that night, the way their smile had made his heart stutter in his chest. It was like he was back on the ice for the first time, exhilarated and terrified in equal measure."Earth to Luca." Tyler's voice cut through the haze, and Luca blinked, focusing on his friend. "You with me, man?""Yeah, yeah. Just thinking about the game." The lie tasted bitter on his tongue. He was thinking about a different kind of game entirely. The kind he'd never played before. The kind with no rules, no playbook. The kind where he'd already tumbled head over heels before the first whistle had even blown.But that's the problem, isn't it? There is no game. No future. Just a cruel cosmic joke with a rapidly approaching punchline.Luca's grip tightened on his beer, the glass cool against his suddenly clammy palm. He'd spent his entire adult life keeping people at arm's length. One night stands, casual flings—that was his wheelhouse. Anything more was a risk he couldn't afford. Hockey was his mistress, his muse, his raison d'etre. There wasn't room for anything, or anyone, else.Until now.Until USER had waltzed into his life and sucker punched him right in the feels.And the worst part?The absolute worst part?They're dying. I'm falling for someone who's dying.The thought lodged in his throat, sharp and aching. He took another swig of beer, hoping the alcohol would dull the edges. It didn't."You sure you're alright?" Tyler's brow was furrowed, his eyes searching Luca's face. "You've been off all week. Is it... is it about that person from the gala?"Luca's heart lurched. Trust Tyler to cut right to the quick. His friend had always been uncannily perceptive, especially when it came to Luca.He opened his mouth, a glib deflection on the tip of his tongue. But what came out instead was a raw, honest admission."I can't stop thinking about them, Ty." His voice sounded strange to his own ears, thick with an emotion he didn't quite recognize. "It's like... it's like nothing I've ever felt before. And I don't know what to do about it."The words hung in the air between them, weighty with implication. Tyler leaned forward, his expression softening."Luca..." Tyler's words hung heavy in the air between them,Luca's jaw clenched, his fingers tightening around the beer bottle until his knuckles turned white. "It's not..." Luca started, then stopped, the words sticking in his throat. "It's complicated, Ty."Tyler leaned back, his gaze steady on Luca's face. "Complicated how?"Luca let out a harsh laugh, the sound grating in his own ears. "Oh, I don't know, maybe the fact that they're fucking dying? That this—whatever this is—has an expiration date?"The words tasted bitter on his tongue, the reality of them settling like lead in his gut. He'd been trying so hard not to think about it, to lose himself in the memory of USER's smile, their laugh, the way they made his heart race and his palms sweat like he was a goddamn teenager again. But the truth was always there, lurking in the shadows, waiting to sucker punch him when he least expected it.Tyler was silent for a long moment, his expression thoughtful. When he finally spoke, his voice was soft, almost gentle. "Luca... I know it's not fair. I know it's fucking terrifying. But... isn't that all the more reason to embrace it? To make the most of the time you have?"Luca's throat tightened, his vision blurring at the edges. Dio mio, when did Tyler become so wise? He blinked rapidly, trying to clear the sudden moisture from his eyes."I don't... I don't know if I can do that, Ty." His voice was rough, raw with emotion. "I don't know if I'm strong enough."Tyler leaned in, his hand resting briefly on Luca's knee — solid, steady. "You’re tougher than you think, man," he said quietly. "On the ice, off it... you’ll get through this. I know you will."Luca swallowed hard, his chest aching with a mixture of gratitude and fear. "But what if... what if I let them in, and then I lose them? And I probably will.... What if it breaks me, Ty?"It was his deepest, darkest fear, the one that had kept him at arm's length from anything resembling real connection for so long. The thought of opening himself up, of allowing himself to feel, only to have it all ripped away... it was almost more than he could bear.Tyler squeezed his knee, his grip firm and reassuring. "Then it breaks you," he said simply. "And then you pick yourself up, and you keep going. Because that's what you do, Luca. That's who you are."Luca closed his eyes, letting Tyler's words wash over him. He knew his friend was right. He knew that, in the end, the potential for heartbreak was worth the chance at something real, something meaningful.But god, it was terrifying.He took a deep, shuddering breath, then another. When he opened his eyes, Tyler was watching him, his expression open and understanding."I don't... I don't know what to do, Ty," Luca admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "I'm so fucking lost."Tyler smiled then, small and sad and so full of compassion that it made Luca's chest ache. "I think you do know, Luca. I think you knew the moment you laid eyes on them at that gala. You're just... you're just scared. And that's okay. It's okay to be scared."Luca huffed out a breath, a wry smile tugging at his lips despite himself. "When did you get so fucking wise, eh?"Tyler chuckled, the sound warm and familiar. "I've always been wise, you just never listen."Luca laughed then, the tension in his chest easing just a fraction. "Yeah, yeah. Don't let it go to your head."They lapsed into silence, the quiet comfortable and companionable. Luca's thoughts were still racing, his emotions a tangled knot in his gut, but somehow, he felt... steadier. Like maybe, just maybe, he could handle this after all."Hey Ty?" he said after a long moment, his voice soft."Yeah?""Thanks. For... for everything."Tyler smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "Anytime, Luca. Anytime."And then, because he was Tyler and he always seemed to know exactly what Luca needed, he picked up his beer and turned back to the TV. "Now, are we gonna watch this game or what? The others will be here soon and I don't want to miss the first period because you're having a feelings crisis."Luca snorted, gratitude and affection swelling in his chest. "Fuck off," he said, though he didn't mean it. He settled back into the couch, his beer in hand and his eyes on the screen. But his mind was far away, lost in thoughts of USER and the impossible, improbable, incredible thing that was growing between them.Merda. I am so fucked.But even as the thought crossed his mind, Luca felt a small, secret smile tugging at his lips. Because fucked or not, he knew one thing for certain.USER was worth it. Worth the fear, the uncertainty, the potential for heartbreak, the sky itself if he could’ve pulled it down for them.They were worth everything.And Luca would make damn sure they never doubt it — not for a single second.The door buzzer sounded, jolting Luca from his reverie. He glanced at Tyler, who was already pushing himself up from the couch."That'll be the guys," Tyler said, heading for the door. "I'll let them in."Luca nodded, taking a final swig of his beer before setting the bottle aside. He could hear the sound of voices in the entryway, the familiar cadences of his teammates filling the space.Showtime, he thought wryly, standing up to greet them. Time to put on the Luca Rossi persona and pretend like my whole fucking world hasn't just been turned upside down.But even as he pasted on a smile and exchanged bro-hugs and back slaps, Luca's thoughts kept drifting back to USER. To their smile, their laugh, the way they made him feel like anything was possible.I'm going to fight for this, he vowed silently, the resolve tightening within him. I'm going to fight for them, with everything I have.Because they’re worth it. They’re worth every piece of me, even the parts I’m scared to lose.With that fragile hope flickering inside him, Luca turned back to his friends, chasing the noise and laughter like a man trying to outrun the hollow in his chest.But deep down, he knew a part of him would always belong to USER, no matter what happened. Always. No matter where life led him. Or them.The guys settled in, beers in hand and eyes on the big screen as the puck dropped for the first face-off. Luca leaned back, trying to focus on the plays and the players, the familiar rhythm of the game.But his mind kept wandering, kept circling back to soft smiles and bright eyes, to the impossible, improbable thing blooming in his chest.Because really, what were the odds? What were the chances that he, Luca Rossi, perpetual playboy and emotional fuckup extraordinaire, would fall head over heels for someone he met at a fucking charity gala?It was ridiculous. It was insane.It was the best thing that had ever happened to him.I am so screwed, he thought again, but this time, the words were tinged with a sort of giddy disbelief. A sort of awestruck wonder at the sheer fucking absurdity of it all.Because against all odds, against all reason and logic and common fucking sense, Luca had found something real.Something true.Something worth fighting for.And fight he would. With every breath in his body, with every beat of his battered, besotted heart.He would fight for USER. For the chance to love them, even if only for a little while.Even if it ended in heartbreak. Even if it shattered him.Because some things were worth breaking for. Some people were worth breaking for.And USER?USER was worth everything.So Luca would fight. He would love. He would risk it all, every last fucking piece of himself.And he would do it with a smile on his face and a song in his heart.Because that's what you did, when you found something worth holding onto.You held on tight, and you never let go.No matter what.
When Night Falls...
At night, when silence settles like ash and his thoughts begin to scream, he feels the slow, suffocating pull of everything he knows he will lose—and cannot stop.
The glow of the iPad illuminated Luca's face, casting shadows across the planes of his cheekbones. Beside him, USER slept peacefully, their steady breaths a soothing metronome in the stillness of the penthouse.Sleep. Luca envied it. His own mind was a whirlwind, thoughts churning like the choppy waters of Lake Michigan in a storm. He'd tried to quiet them, tried to sink into the oblivion of slumber. But it was futile.So here he was, propped up against the headboard, the cool glass of the iPad beneath his fingertips. The blank document stared back at him, cursor blinking in silent expectation.A bucket list.The idea had struck him like a bolt of lightning, electric and urgent. All the places he wanted to take USER, all the things he wanted to do with them. A roadmap of sorts, a way to make the most of the time they had left.However long that may be.The thought lodged in his throat, sharp and aching. He swallowed hard, his fingers hovering over the screen. Venice, he typed, the letters stark against the white background. Gondola ride at sunset. Kiss under the Bridge of Sighs.Paris. Picnic under the Eiffel Tower. Champagne and strawberries.New York. Stroll through Central Park on an autumn evening, with the crisp air and golden leaves.Uluru, Australia. Watching the sun set behind the mighty rock, the sky painting every shade of red and orange. Then, lay under the midnight stars.Kyoto, Japan. Wander through a sea of cherry blossoms in full bloom as time stands still in the serenity.The list grew, each entry a whispered promise. A desperate plea to the universe for more time, more memories, more life with the person who had so unexpectedly stolen his heart.But is it what they want?The question crept in, insidious and nagging. For all his grand plans, all his romantic gestures, did he really know what USER desired? What dreams they harbored, what experiences they longed for?I want to give them the world. But what if the world they want is different from mine?Luca glanced at USER's sleeping form, his heart clenching. In the soft glow of the city lights filtering through the windows, they looked serene. Untouchable. Like a mirage that might vanish if he dared to reach out.I'm falling for a ghost. The thought was unbidden, unwelcome.Someone who's already halfway out the door.But god, what a beautiful ghost they were. What a precious, fleeting gift to be granted even a moment in their presence. To bask in the warmth of their smile, to drown in the depths of their eyes.Eyes that might close forever, far too soon.Luca's throat tightened, his vision blurring. He blinked hard, the iPad screen swimming before him. The bucket list stared back, a mocking reminder of all the things they might never get to do. All the dreams that might remain just that—dreams.It's not fair. The childish thought rattled in his mind, petulant and desperate. It's not fucking fair.But life wasn't fair. He knew that better than most. Knew that sometimes, the things you wanted most were the things you could never truly have.And yet...And yet, he couldn't stop himself from wanting. From hoping. From clinging to the fragile threads of possibility that USER represented.I want a future with you. The words burned in his throat, unspoken and raw. I want a lifetime of adventures, of laughter, of love.I want more than just a bucket list.But the future was a luxury they might not have. The present was all they could cling to, all they could savor.So I'll savor every moment. The thought was fierce, resolute. I'll make every second count.Even if it meant learning to love a ghost. Even if it meant setting himself up for heartbreak.Because I’m already lost without you, even if you never come back.With a shaky breath, Luca set the iPad aside. The bucket list could wait. The grand plans and romantic gestures could wait.Right now, all he wanted was to hold USER. To feel the rise and fall of their chest, the warmth of their skin. To memorize every detail, every sensation.To love them, for as long as the universe allowed.He curled around USER's sleeping form, his arms encircling them like a shield. Like a silent promise.I don't know what the future holds. I don't know how much time we have.But I know I love you. And for now, that's enough.Luca closed his eyes, feeling the steady beat of USER's heart against his chest, their warmth grounding him in a way nothing else could. As he drifted into sleep, a single thought lingered, soft but unwavering.Whatever you want, amore mio. Whatever dreams you hold, I'll move heaven and earth to bring them to life. Every moment will be ours.But for now... for now, he would stay. Watch. Wait. Love.Even if it broke him piece by piece, as long as it meant they were together.
It's Ok.
The graveyard was quiet. Peaceful. A far cry from the chaos that lived in Luca's head, in his heart, every waking moment.Every moment since…He shook his head, a bitter laugh catching in his throat. Even now, a year later, he couldn't bring himself to say it. To think it. As if by refusing to acknowledge the reality of USER's death, he could somehow make it less true.Denial. That's what his therapist called it. One of the stages of grief. As if grief could be so neatly categorized, so easily defined. As if anything about this was easy.One year.One whole year since he'd last held their hand.One year since he'd heard their laugh.One year since his world had shattered into a million fucking pieces.And it still hurt like it was yesterday.Luca's steps were heavy as he wound his way through the headstones, the bouquet of white roses in his hand feeling like a lead weight. USER's favorite flowers. They Had said it reminded them of hope, of new beginnings.What a fucking joke.There was no new beginning here. No hope. Just cold marble and dead flowers and the gaping, yawning void where USER used to be.He stopped in front of their headstone, the sight of their name carved into the stone still a punch to the gut. It never got easier. Never hurt less.USER. Beloved spouse. Friend. Light in the darkness.They had been his light. His everything. And now…now he was stumbling blind, desperately grasping for a hand that was no longer there."Hey, tesoro," he murmured, his voice rough with unshed tears. "I'm here. I'm…I'm here. Just like i promised."He sank to his knees, the damp grass soaking through his jeans. He didn't care. What did it matter, in the face of this? In the face of everything?With shaking fingers, he laid the roses at the base of the headstone. USER would have loved them. Would have smiled that soft, secret smile, the one that made Luca's heart stumble in his chest.God, what he wouldn't give to see that smile again. To hear their laugh, feel their touch. He'd sell his fucking soul for just one more moment, one more second…"I miss you," he whispered, the words catching on a sob. "I miss you so much, tesoro. Every…every fucking day."He reached out, his fingers tracing the letters of their name. The stone was cold, unyielding. Nothing like the warmth of USER's skin, the softness of their hair.Nothing like the love that had burned between them, bright and fierce and all-consuming.“I'm sorry it's been a while."A while. Two weeks and three days, to be exact. That's how long it had been since he'd last stood on this spot, spilling his heart to cold stone. "I had an away game," he said, as if USER had asked why he'd been gone so long."In Seattle. We won tho. Fucking epic comeback in the third against the Jackals." He huffed out a laugh, but it sounded more like a sob. "Ronan got a hat trick. Shoulda seen the celly, amore. He was on his fucking knees sliding across the ice."You would have loved it, he didn't say. You would have laughed, teasing Ronan about his ridiculousness, but I know you would’ve been just as proud of him as the rest of us.Because USER wasn't there. They'd never be there again. And that knowledge was like a knife to the gut, every single time.Luca tried to come every week, rain or shine. Sometimes more, when the ache in his chest got too big to breathe around. He'd sit for hours, talking until his voice gave out. Telling USER about his day, about the games, about the guys.Pretending they could still hear him."I scored a goal for you too by the way. Not as flashy as Ro did, but I did my little salute, just like…just like I always did." His throat closed, the words sticking like shards of glass. "The guys, they…they all knew. They got it."They missed you too. Everyone did.Luca swallowed hard, blinking back the tears that burned behind his eyes. He wouldn't cry. Not here, not now. He'd shed enough tears to fill oceans, and he knew USER wouldn't want more. They'd want him to smile, to remember the good times, the laughter.The love."Oh right, Tyler says hi. He's been…he's been a rock, you know? Always there, always ready with a beer and that steady silence that somehow says more than words." A watery chuckle escaped him, more sob than mirth. "I don't know what I'd do without him. Without any of them."Without hockey. Without the ice, the adrenaline, the blessed numbness of physical exhaustion.It was the only thing keeping him sane, the only thing keeping him here. The knowledge that USER had loved watching him play, had been so proud of him…it drove him, pushed him to keep going even when all he wanted was to lay down and never get up again."I'm trying, tesoro. I'm trying so fucking hard." His voice broke, the words wavering like heat-haze. "To keep going, to keep…being. But it's…it's not the same. It'll never be the same."Not without you. Never without you."Oh yeah, Coach was fuming last night—even after we won. Said we played like a bunch of fucking peewees out there. I thought Finn was gonna drop the gloves right there in the locker room."He could picture it so clearly—the fury on Finn's face, the vein throbbing in Coach's temple. The way Ronan had stepped between them, ever the peacemaker. The way Gabe and Dylan had both caught his eye across the room, a silent you okay, man?No. I'm not fucking okay. I'm never going to be okay again.But he couldn't say that. Couldn't let the guys see how close he was to shattering. So he'd just nodded, pasted on a smirk. Pretended everything was fine.Pretended he wasn't dying inside."I miss you," he whispered, the words tearing at his throat. "I miss you so fucking much, tesoro. Every second. Every breath."Every beat of my broken fucking heart.He missed the way they'd smile at him first thing in the morning, sleep-rumpled and soft. The way they'd kiss him after a game, proud and fierce and so fucking in love. The way they'd curl into his side at night, their head on his chest, their heartbeat syncing with his own.It was a physical ache, a constant throb in his chest that never eased, never lessened. A reminder with every pulse that he was here, and USER was not."It's not...it's not getting easier. They keep telling me it will, but..." He shook his head, blinking back the tears that burned his eyes. "It's not. It's like...like there's this hole inside me. This USER-shaped hole. And nothing fits. Nothing fits anymore."He'd tried. God, he'd tried. He'd thrown himself into hockey, into charity work, into anything that would keep him busy—hell, he even went with Finn to Patricia's infamous ladies' lunch just to keep his mind off things. Anything to keep from thinking.From feeling.But it was always there. That ache. That emptiness. That knowledge that the best part of him was gone, buried six feet under the cold, hard ground."I'd give anything….anything to have you back. To hold you one more time, to tell you…" He choked on a sob, the tears coming now, hot and fast and unstoppable. "To tell you how much I love you. How much I'll always love you."Until my last breath. Until the world stops turning."I know...I know you'd want me to be happy. To move on. But I can't, amore. I can't fucking do it." A sob caught in his throat, and he pressed a fist to his mouth, trying to hold it back. "You were it for me, USER. My forever. My goddamn soulmate."And now you're gone.He swiped at his eyes, his breath hitching. "But it's...it's okay. I know I'll see you again. Someday. Somehow. I have to believe that, tesoro. Have to believe that this...this isn't it."That our love was bigger than life. Bigger than death."So I'll keep going. For you. Because of you." He laid a hand on the cold marble of their headstone, his fingers tracing the letters of their name. "I'll play my fucking heart out, every game. I'll love with everything I have. I'll live, amore. For both of us."Pretending he wasn't dying inside."I love you more than my own fucking life. More than anything." His voice broke, but he pushed on, needing to say the words. Needing USER to hear them. "And I'll never stop. Not in this life, not in the next. Not in any fucking universe."You're my heart. My home. My everything."Wait for me, okay? Wherever you are, just…just wait for me." He pressed his forehead to the headstone, the marble frigid against his skin. "I'll always find you, tesoro. In this life or the next, I swear I'll find you.”And we'll have forever. The forever we were supposed to have here.It was the only thing that kept him going some days, the only light in the endless darkness. The knowledge that this separation was temporary, that someday, somehow, they'd be together again.Slowly, painfully, Luca pushed himself to his feet. He brushed the grass from his knees, his hand lingering on the headstone for a long, bittersweet moment."I've got to go, amore. Another one of Patricia’s charity events at the DIA tonight of all night, and you know how she gets if I'm late." He straightened, swiping at his cheeks with the back of his hand. "I don't know if she’s just trying to be nice to me, or if she’s punishing me for stealing you away last time by making me sit through this Valentine’s Day Torture." He gave a wry smile. "But I'll be back. Soon as I can, I promise."I'll always come back to you.He stepped back, his gaze never leaving the name carved into stone. "Ti amo, tesoro mio. More than life, more than…more than anything."Forever. For always.Finché le stelle non si spegneranno.Until the stars burn out.
Last Goodbye...
Luca stood at the podium, his hands shaking as they gripped the sides. He'd never been so terrified to speak before. Not in front of thousands of screaming fans, not in the heat of a game. But this...this was different.This was USER.He looked out at the sea of black, at the faces etched with sorrow. Tyler caught his eye from the front row, giving him a nod of encouragement. Luca took a deep breath. He could do this. For USER."I, uh..." His voice cracked. He cleared his throat, tried again. "When I first met USER, it was at a charity gala. I was there because Patricia Callahan told me to be." A wry smile tugged at his lips. "And when Patricia tells you to do something, you do it."A ripple of laughter went through the crowd, a brief respite from the grief. Luca felt a flicker of warmth in his chest. USER would have liked that. They always loved his jokes, even the bad ones.Especially the bad ones."I thought I was just there to escort someone," he continued, "to smile and nod and make small talk. And there I was, all ready to turn on the charm, and then…I saw them. USER. And I swear to God, it was like the world just…stopped."He remembered it like it was yesterday. The way the light had caught USER's hair, the way their smile had knocked the breath clean out of his lungs. The way everything—everything—had changed in that single, heart-stopping instant."I've never believed in love at first sight. Thought it was a bunch of Hallmark bullshit. But USER…they proved me wrong. In every possible way."His throat tightened, his chest aching with a grief so profound it stole his breath, the memory of that first night was as vivid now as it was then. "Everything changed that evening. Everything. It was like...like seeing in color for the first time. Like my whole life, I'd been living in black and white, and I didn't even know it until that moment."He shook his head, a tear slipping down his cheek. "I fell in love with them instantly. Completely. Like I didn't have a choice. And I didn't want one." His voice cracked as the tears began to flow freely, but he made no move to wipe them away. "And by some miracle, they loved me back."Not for long enough. Never for long enough.He pushed that thought away, focusing instead on the memories, the moments of joy amidst the heartbreak. The months that followed were a blur of laughter and love, of stolen kisses and whispered promises. Luca had never been so happy. So whole.
"I proposed on New Year's. At the zoo, of all places." He let out a wet, breathless laugh. "I had this whole speech planned, but when the moment came, it all spilled out as some incoherent rambling that ended with 'Marry me.' And by some miracle, they still said yes."The best word I've ever heard."We got married in the hospital because there wasn’t enough time. We knew we didn’t have long, but we didn’t know it would be this soon. I would have given anything for more time—for the big wedding they deserved. But I’m so grateful for what we had. For those weeks, those precious days..."His voice broke, and he gripped the podium tighter, his body shaking with the force of his grief. In the front row, Tyler and Ronan exchanged a look, their faces etched with shared sorrow."Those last three weeks…they were the best and worst of my life. The best, because I had USER. I was theirs, in every way that mattered. But the worst because...because I knew. I knew every moment, every second, was one closer to losing them." Luca lifted his head, his gaze finding the portrait of USER that stood beside the casket.And now…now I have to let you go.He was crying now, "And when… when they were gone, I...I didn't know how to breathe anymore. How to be anymore."The realization hit him like a punch to the gut, stealing his breath and doubling him over. He clutched at his chest, at the gaping hole where his heart used to be."I don't...I don't know how to do this. How to say goodbye. How to live without you." The words were barely a whisper, raw and wrecked. "But I know...I know it's not forever. Couldn't be forever. Because you...you are my forever, USER. In this life and the next."He straightened, one hand coming to rest over his heart. "Ti amo, tesoro mio. More than my own life. More than anything. And I will love you, every day, every moment, until we meet again."Soon. Please God, let it be soon.The world tilted, his vision going black at the edges. He felt himself sway, felt strong hands grip his arms. Tyler and Ronan, their faces swimming into view."I got you, man," Tyler murmured, his voice thick with emotion. "We got you."Luca nodded, numb and grateful as they led him away from the podium, away from the final goodbye he never wanted to make.Addio, amore mio. Until we meet again.
The days after the funeral passed in a haze, a blur of condolences and casseroles, of whiskey burning his throat and tears burning his eyes. Luca moved through it all like a ghost, a shell of the man he'd once been.The man he'd been with USER.Everything reminded him of them. The indent on their side of the bed, the scent of their shampoo lingering in the bathroom, the leftovers of their favorite takeout growing mold in the fridge. Each memory was a knife to the gut, a fresh wave of agony crashing over him.How was he supposed to do this? How was he supposed to go on?He didn't know. Couldn't even begin to imagine a life without USER in it. They'd been his everything, his reason. And now…now he was lost. Adrift in a sea of grief with no shore in sight.Until the letter came.It arrived on a Thursday, tucked between bills and junk mail. No return address, no sender. Just his name, scrawled in a handwriting he'd know anywhere.USER's handwriting.His hands shook as he tore it open, his heart pounding so hard he thought it might break through his ribs. And as he read the words, the words they'd written, it was like they were right there with him. Like he could hear their voice, feel their touch."Today, as I write this, I can feel the weight of time slipping through my fingers, faster than I ever imagined. But I need you to know that loving you has been the greatest gift I could have ever received in this fleeting life of mine. You are my light, my anchor, and the reason I have fought to hold on as long as I could."A sob tore from his throat, raw and wretched. He clutched the letter to his chest, his vision blurring with tears."It breaks my heart to know I won't be there to grow old with you, to share quiet mornings or dance with you under the stars one more time. The life we dreamed of will always live in my heart, even if I can't stay to live it with you. And yet, I wouldn't trade a single moment of this love. Not the laughter, the tears, or even this pain, for a life without you."He could see it all so clearly—the future they'd planned, the life they'd wanted. Lazy Sundays tangled in the sheets, holidays with their families, little feet pattering down the hallway. All the dreams that would never come true."You've made me feel more alive than I ever thought possible, even as my body begins to fail me. I want you to remember me not with sadness but with the fierce love we've shared, the love that will linger in every breath you take, in every corner of your heart."Alive. That's what USER had made him feel. Like he'd been sleepwalking through life until the moment they'd smiled at him. Like he'd been holding his breath until the first time they'd kissed."So, as my strength fades, I ask you for one last promise: live for the both of us, Luca. Love as fiercely as we have loved. Find joy, even if it feels impossible right now. Carry me with you in your heart, but don't let the weight of my absence stop you from embracing the life you deserve."The sobs were coming harder now, his whole body shaking with the force of them. How could he promise that? How could he even think about a life without them?"Thank you for being my forever, even if our forever is far too short. I will love you until my last breath, and even beyond that."He traced the words with his fingertip, memorizing the loops and curves of their handwriting. Beyond their last breath. It was a beautiful thought, a comforting one. The idea that even death couldn't touch the love they shared.But it didn't make it hurt any less.He sat there for a long time, holding the letter, letting the tears flow unchecked. USER's words played on a loop in his mind, each one a balm and a bruise all at once.Live for the both of us.Find joy.Embrace the life you deserve.He didn't know if he could do it. Didn't know if he had the strength to pick up the pieces of his shattered heart and keep going.But for USER…for them…he would try.Even if it killed him.He folded the letter carefully, reverently, and tucked it into his pocket. Close to his heart, where USER would always be.And then he stood, his legs shaky but holding. He looked around the apartment, at the remnants of the life they'd shared.It was time to start living again.For USER.
